Jaded Eyes
by FatGlamour
Summary: When Harry James Potter was born, Severus Snape decided to let the past lie. Now it is coming back to haunt him. ON PERMANENT HAITUS!
1. Chapter One

Hello, I hope you like this. It is a bit different than other stories but that is what makes it a story, right. Originality! Enjoy and please review! This is my first story on Fanfiction.net and I really love this storyline. This story involves a pairing with Severus Snape and this chapter will give you an idea who it is. If you do not like this pairing then I am sorry. Do not criticize me because you don't like it. I am not responsible for you.

Summary: When Harry James Potter was born, Severus Snape decided to let the past lie. Now it is coming back to haunt him. 5th year

Spoilers: PS/SS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP- order of the phoenix because even though this is a 5th story it coincides with the actual novel so it is not completely AU

**Jaded Eyes**

Chapter One

"By a route obscure and lonely,

Haunted by ill angels only,

Where an Eidolon, named Night,

On a black throne reigns upright,

I have reached these lands but newly

            From an ultimate dim Thule –

From a wild clime that lieth, sublime,

            Out of Space – Out of Time."

~ _Dream-Land, Edgar Allen Poe_

Number Twelve Grimmauld Place was the vision of all things of a family of the Dark Arts.  She remembered stories that Sirius Black had told her of his childhood home. He had mentioned how his parents had hated that he had been in Gryffindor House instead of Slytherin, (which was back in the days of the great Slytherin/ Gryffindor inter-house 'war' and she was not quite sure if that still existed).

The steps she noted upon stepping on were crumbling and were in need of repairing. The wispy trees moved in the storm winds and the rain beat down hard on her head. She bent her head and back and moved quickly to the wooden door. She rapped on the door three times and stood bowing her head against the rain. She vaguely noticed that the door knocker was a serpent handle.

Suddenly the door opened and she was swept into a heated room. Motherly words greeted her as hands helped her out of her sodden cloak. Her modest green robes shone dully by the firelight. She looked up and thanked her greeter as the older woman placed a cozy blanket about her shoulders.

"Hello, Molly," she whispered as the plump, auburn haired woman gathered her into a warm embrace effectively keeping the coverlet on her. The older woman smelled lightly of vanilla and she breathed in the scent contentedly.

"I can't believe it is you," said Molly as she hugged the smaller one tighter. She pulled back and stared into jaded emerald eyes. She placed her hands on either side of the stranger's face and studied her as unshed tears made her blue eyes sparkle. Jewel adorned hands lifted and were placed over the resting ones on her face.

Slowly the hands came down and stayed at each ones respected sides.

Arms wrapped around her from behind and a strong chin rested on her shoulder. A familiar fragrance wafted under her nose and she smiled. "Hello Remus."

"Welcome home, Lily."

Lily turned in his hug and smiled at him making him grin like a school boy whose house had just won the Quidditch Cup. She lifted her arms around his neck and squeezed gently, leaning in to his strong frame. (The blanket surprisingly staying perched on her back). She pressed her face into his robes and breathed in deeply. She sighed and looked up from his chest and a silly smile on her lightly freckled face.

"Oh, Remus Lupin, I can't believe you! Look at you! You are just the same! You look the same and you even _smell the same!"_

He chuckled pulling her back into his arms. "Lily, I missed you."

"Oh, Remus, you have no idea how many times I wished I was back in Seventh Year with you and James and Peter, (who can just rot) and Sirius." She stopped and looked around the room. It was empty except for her, Remus, and Molly. She turned back to the blond haired man, her brow furrowing. "Where is Sirius?"

"He's upstairs. He's been there ever since we received your first letter last month explaining, well, about Harry and James and…"(He stopped himself from saying the name of the next person when he saw the pained expression on Lily's face). "…him. He only comes down to eat his meals and then he goes back to his room and sulks."

All joy and contentment fled from the woman's face as she closed her eyes to hold back the tears. She nervously bit her lip.

"You know that the only reason I came back was for Harry because I had truly been hiding for long enough. I had wished that I could have stayed hidden, stayed _dead_ but… I knew that what was going to happen that Harry would need me. The changes that will occur will hurt him physically and mentally and his world will change.

"Dumbledore told me that he had to see one of his classmates be murdered by V-Voldemort. This could destroy him, Remus. I wonder how I will feel when I have destroyed his life. Will he understand? I can only hope. Will Severus understand?" 

A bitter laugh escaped her. 

"No... Because James and I kept him from his son, from happiness for once in his life, he'll hate me. I am afraid that Harry will hate me to. I could stand it if Severus hates but Harry staring at me with my eyes in the face of Severus Snape and loathing me makes me feel so _small._

"Sirius can hate me and God forbid, he can hate James. But we did what we did to save lives and I will stand by that till the day I… well I can't say die because I believe that would be a tad unorthodox."

"Lily," said Molly's voice, slightly shaky. "Come to the kitchen and have a cup of tea. Everyone's waiting to see you."

Lily smiled gently at her older friend before her gaze traveled to the stairs. "I really should talk to him. I know how much he hated Severus."

"Give your mind a rest before taking on such a challenge! Lily, Lily, Lily… You are just like before always studious, always thinking, always having concern over someone… Don't worry so much. I am sure that he will get over it. Just give him time. I know he is dying to see you.

"Now don't give me that look I pride myself in being able to read people and Merlin, that man is stubborn. He's rivaled only by my youngest son, Ron, who you'll get to meet of course. You should ask him about Harry and you can ask Hermione to. They are his best friends. Ron is Ron and Hermione reminds me so much of you. Ask them about Harry because I can tell you want to know it all."

Tears began a steady course from emerald eyes. "It's sad, Molly, that I don't even know who my son's friends are."

She felt Remus place a hand on her shoulder just as Molly reassured her that that was going to change now.

"Hermione quit bouncing in your seat!"

"Ron, quit being such a git. You know that I positively hate surprises."

"Believe me. I've noticed."

The glare that she sent him seemed cold enough to freeze dragon's fire. He coughed a bit and squirmed in his chair as Nyphadora Tonks and Mundungus Fletcher laughed at his suspense. He coughed once more and straightened his back trying to appear less bothered by the staring and the glaring and the laughing.

"Hermione," Tonks started smiling knowingly. "You have nothing to worry about."

"But… But…You said that this has something to do with Harry and you won't tell us if anything is wrong with him. And how come you let me and Ron in here when Fred, George and Ginny were sent to bed and locked in their rooms. I am sorry Tonks but I just want to know what is going on!"

Her wild eyes suddenly turned to the kitchen door as it was pushed open. Mrs. Weasley stepped in and was followed by Lupin guiding a woman into the kitchen. Her green robes hung off of her thin frame and her hair was in rippling waves off a slightly darker auburn than that of Mrs. Weasley. And her eyes were deep emerald like she had never seen before so intense and sad.

_Wait one minute, I have seen those eyes before their…their…_

"RON!"

The said boy broke his gaze on the strange woman and jumped off of his chair. He stared at his friend like she had grown two extra heads. She stood up quickly making her chair topple to the floor. She gripped the red head's arm in a vice grip and began hopping up and down.

"Bloody hell!" (He promptly ignored the scowl on his mother's face at the use of his language). "What are you Hermione, the amazing bouncing Ninny?" (In a dark corner, Alastor Moody snorted into his drink).

"Ron! She is… Oh my…" She turned to the wide eyed Lily. "But you are supposed to be…" She turned back to Ron. "Ron, can you believe…" She looked back to Lily. "Are you really?"

Lily looked as if she had been hit with a Stunning spell (or Ron thought she looked as if she had bit down on one of Hagrid's rock cakes). She blinked several times and looked to Remus, who rested both his hands on her back and pushed her into a chair.

"Perhaps you'd better explain, Lily."

She took notice of how the boy's eyes widened and looked to the girl. The girl said something that began to make the boy speak in an undertone. She seemed scared and joyful at the same time.

"I sent the letter so I would only have to explain once, Remus! And here you are making me do it again! Once was hard enough!"

He lowered his voice so that Ron and Hermione would not hear. "You don't have to explain about Snape or Harry or the Blooding, but tell them how you survived. It might do us all some good to actually hear it coming from you and it might do you some good to." He smiled broadly as she nodded looking ahead. 

Remus stood and shuffled Hermione (who was bounding up and down on the balls of her feet) and Ron (who walked jerkily like he thought that something would jump out at him) over to Lily. Hermione sat in the seat at the end of the table and to the side of her and Ron sat across from her while Remus took the seat next to her.

"Are you Harry's mum?" This statement had come surprisingly from the boy whose eyes kept darting to the sides. Finally they came to rest on hers and stared. "Harry's eyes…" He mumbled under his breath.

"How did you survive?" This statement had come from the girl who seemed to have calmed down into a kind of reverence and seemed content at the moment.

Lily looked to Remus who gave her a patient smile and gestured her to continue.

"Yes, umm… I am Harry's mum but please call me Lily… I survived by, well…" She took a deep breath and began again. "I am alive thanks to a spell I invented to keep my son safe. It was a fairly complex spell and I never told anyone of it for fear that it would not work. It would enable me to create a duplicate of myself to protect my son while the real me stayed somewhere safe.

"I know it sounds cowardly and it sounds like I just gave my son up to the mercy of the Dark Lord, but you see the duplicate was not real in a sense. Oh, how can I … It did not have a soul but it had a body and in such a body can die. I was linked to the duplicate so you could say that I was its soul but a soul can only choose to be in one place at one time. 

"I had a potion that I had hung around my neck that was spelled to work like the actual incantation. I faced Voldemort and I pleaded with him to spare Harry. When I saw that he would not (though there really was no hope in it anyway) I turned my back on him toward the crib and stared at Harry for the last time. Voldemort said something about moving away from him. I drank the potion and the body I was in became my duplicate and I materialized somewhere in Scotland. (I really have no idea where actually).

"I know you have questions and I know that my explanation left a few things out."

"How would a duplicate be able to protect Harry?" Hermione looked shocked at her will to even ask that question. 

"You see the duplicate was made with all my love for my son. They may not have souls but they have emotions that are relatively stronger than that of actual humans. And because they do not have souls or wills, they are not flawed by the sins we commit. They are pure and purity is a strong magic."

"Then Professor Lupin if this whole story is true how does the blood magic work for Harry? Why would his relatives being alive help protect him?"

Remus looked shocked at the question and turned toward his friend with a realization blossoming over his face. Lily had her head bent and her hair covered her eyes. However they could see a flush wash over her face in shame.

"The potion required my blood."

"Hello, everyone on such a fine night!"

Everyone looked up, shocked at the intrusion and into the smiling face of Albus Dumbledore.

Severus Snape was not a happy camper.

"Damn Albus Dumbledore to the infernal reaches of Hell! Why now? Why, of all bloody times, now? A whole cauldron full of potion – ruined! Poppy will have my head!" 

He stalked over to the fireplace, picked up a pinch of floo powder and promptly tossed it into the awaiting flames. He waited for them to turn a satisfying Slytherin green before he stepped in. He felt cold and warm at the same time as apprehension settled into his stomach. He growled out (though clearly), "Grimmauld Place!"

He stepped out of the hearth, dusting off his clothes and looked up into the pensive face of his employer. "What is going on, Albus?"

He was suddenly aware of the movement of one person beside Dumbledore. He saw a petite feminine figure shaking in robes that seemed familiar. Hair that was almost crimson hung over thin shoulders and framed a long slender neck. A cherubic face greeted him as he locked his eyes with hers.

"Merlin… It can't be…"

Her eyes were the color he had never seen in any woman except once.

"Lillian…"

She smiled a weak, shaky smile as her eyes brimmed with tears. "Hello Severus…"

Suddenly, anger flooded into obsidian eyes. "You are not her! This is a trick! Lily Evans died because of James Potter's arrogant son!" He pointed his finger at her. "You are DEAD!"

Tears fell swiftly with nothing to stop them. Her fists were hung at her sides. All power this woman had processed had seemed to vanish at his words. "_Words of thine that swiftly kill and a heart to appall, Shall I go with my will as you hold the rope while I fall… _I remember the day you told me that Severus." Her pleading eyes locked once more with his. "Don't you, Severus? Don't you remember?"

He seemed to become aware of everyone in the room. His body was trembling with rage and despite himself, hope for who he wanted her to be. "You are not her… You can't be her… She is the past… I buried her… She has been dead for fourteen years…"

"I am sorry that I wasn't here. I am sorry that I deceived you. I am sorry that you hate me. I am sorry that you hate James and Sirius and Remus. I am sorry for everything that I have done. I am sorry to you. I am sorry to Harry. I am sorry to James for dying to save what was mine." _And yours…She added silently._

"You are not her…"

"But I am… Believe in me…"

He crossed the room to stand before her and for a moment everyone thought that he was going to strike at her. All of a sudden he reached out and pulled her to him in a bone crushing embrace. She burst into tears as soon as his arms were around her and tremors rocked his body as he stood with her.

They seemed unaware that the other occupants herded toward the door and left them alone with the silence.

So, that is the first chapter! I hope you liked it! I am sorry if you didn't. Anyway, review or mail me at brandinvaughn@hotmail.com! Thank you for reading! ~ Trinity 101


	2. Chapter Two

This is the second chapter and I am so used to getting no reviews from my anime stories that I was shocked to find that this morning I had not one, but two reviews! I am so happy that I am beginning on the next chapter a little early. These next lines are to my reviewers!

Bekki:  Thank you so much! You are my inspiration for this chapter! Thanks for reviewing and I hope you like the second as much as the first! I would love to hear from you again! Once more, thanks!

NO NAME:  I am sorry that it seemed confusing, but hopefully, I can clear that up in a chapter or two. Thanks for reviewing!

That's it! Now here's the next installment. Enjoy and review!

**Jaded Eyes**

Chapter Two

"A simple child that lightly draws its breath,

And feels its life in every limb,

What should it know of death?"

~William Wordsworth

It was not the first night that Harry Potter had waked up screaming.

He could remember the light, the horrible green light and then looking at Cedric, lying on the dew kissed grass. His limbs were splayed at his sides; his wand was off to the side. His eyes were wide and horror filled and his body was unnaturally still.

He could recall the searing pain from his scar, the white hot burning. Tears stung his eyes from the ache in his head but he was not sure that he had actually cried. His injured leg throbbed as he was tied to Tom Riddles tombstone by Wormtail, the Tom Riddle who had given him his scar, the Tom Riddle that had nearly killed Virginia Weasley in the Chamber of Secrets, the Tom Riddle who had killed his parents.

He was lying in his bed now crying and staring at the ceiling. (He could not tell if it was blurry because he did not have his glasses on or because of the water in his eyes). His exhausted mind barely registered the thumping in the hall and his door being swung open. He was pulled roughly out of bed by his overly large shirt, (a hand-me-down of his enormous cousin Dudley) and was flung into the face of his wardrobe. His weeping did not stop as he looked up into the angry purple face of his Uncle Vernon, a large beefy man with very little neck.

"What is wrong with you, Boy? It is four in the bloody morning! I have to be at work in three hours so I can feed you and put a roof over your head. You are too old to be frightened by a silly nightmare! Hush your blubbering! Hush it!"

Vernon raised his arm to strike him across the face. Harry bit his lip so hard that it bled. He stood there waiting for the blow when oddly, the doorbell rang.

"What in the bloody… Four in the morning! Don't answer the door Petunia! It is likely one of the neighbors coming to poke their noses in our business!" He turned to the slouching figure in front of him. "I'm not through with you, yet." Vernon Dursley took one more scathing look in Harry's direction and then marched out of his nephew's room. He could hear his uncle storming down the steps toward the front door and some distant part of his mind wondered who it was.

_It's probably Ms. Figg coming to see if I'm okay. I hope she brought one of her cats._ Harry smiled slightly. _Uncle Vernon hates cats._

Suddenly, a commotion (for the second time that night) broke out on Number Four Privet Drive.

"No! No! You can't take him!" _Aunt Petunia_

"We had enough of your lot last summer!" _Uncle Vernon_

"Yes, well, Fred and George are real pranksters, you know." _Mr. Weasley?_

Hope flared inside Harry as he wiped his face with his hands. He got up, retrieved his glasses and pushed past Dudley, (which was really quite a feat for someone as small as himself). He tore down the hall to stand at the top of the steps and stared because it was quite a sight, really.

Mr. Weasley was trying to explain all about what inventors his twins were (and seemed unaware that he was just making Vernon worse. Harry could tell by how darker his uncle's face and neck became). His aunt Petunia was screaming at a young woman who was walking up the stairs past him. (She winked at him as she walked past him. Harry stared after her as he watched her hair change from sky blue to purple to hot pink and back again. "Get out of my house you- you freaks!" was his aunt's response to, apparently, everyone.

He jumped as a hand came to rest on his shoulder. He looked up into the face of… "Professor Lupin?"

Remus's smile reached all the way up to his hazel eyes and in all the time that Harry had known him, he seemed truly happy. 

"Hello Harry. I hope you don't mind us coming to get you. Someone at headquarters had a bad feeling and got us out of bed and sent us to fetch you. I thought that we should wait for a couple more hours but then Nymphadora," He gestured down the hall where the girl had disappeared into Harry's bedroom"…sided with her and of course when women have company in their opinions there is no stopping them. I am surprised that she is this perky. She dreadfully hates mornings."

"Her?" Harry asked, pointing down the hall.

"Why, yes, she's always been a tad-"

"Really, Lupin," said a rough graveling voice off to the side, making them turn to meet a magic swiveling eye. "You shouldn't say things about the Little Griffin when there are those who will repeat your words. Potter, for one…" Moody looked to the boy at the side of Remus "Tonks, for another…" And then he looked past Harry to the girl standing to the side of him, who was staring at the werewolf.

Remus's eyes widened. "Nymphadora… you wouldn't…"

Nymphadora Tonks grinned, bubble gum pink hair falling into her eyes (which changed from brown to light green). "Wouldn't I?" Her smile faded a bit. "Remus will you come help me with Harry's trunk, please? You know how I am with shrinking spells." She looked to the Boy Who Lived. "Come with us, Harry so we don't forget anythin'."

He followed them quietly down the hall to his room; (he wasn't sure how they had known it to be his). They passed Dudley who stared at Tonks as both her hair and eyes changed to Ravenclaw blue.

"Sirius?"

"Go away."

"I've been away for a long time. I'm not going anywhere."

Sirius Black turned to look at the woman he had thought was gone forever. Her dark hair was mussed and frizzy from awakening. Her robes were black and formfitting but still modest. Her hands were adorned with bejeweled rings and silver bracelets of chains and bangles were on her thin wrists. One of her hands came up to play with the silver pendent on her neck; it was a snake in a striking position with its mouth open wide and its eyes were made of rubies. 

He scowled at the necklace. "I suppose that _Snivellus would have given you that?"_

"Yes, a long time ago…"

His scowl became darker as he turned away.

"Sirius, we need to talk about this."

"Why? You never bothered to mention that while you were _alive."_

"I have always been alive, Sirius. You just did not know it."

"You'll understand if I don't believe this all. It is a big chunk to swallow."

"You are my son's godfather and you will need to be there for him while the changes take place. Severus will not know how to treat his son and he has no idea how to be a father. In fact, I am not sure I remember how to be a mother."

"James is Harry's father."

"The changes should have begun last week. Soon, there will be no trace of James Potter in my son."

"Why did you do this to James?"

"James and I did this together, Sirius. We did this to save Severus's life from Voldemort. Do you realize what the Dark Lord would have done if he knew that someone within his inner circle had a half blood son. I know that it seems cowardly that I did not die for my son, but I did not die to save Harry's life. We also thought that with the Blooding on Harry, you would become fond of him if you thought he was James's. We knew that if you knew that Harry was Severus's son that you would hate him like you hated Severus."

The man turned to stare out at the window onto the busy street. He sighed.

"I'm sorry, Lils. It will just take me a while to get used to this. Harry means… a lot to me. It is just sometimes… I look at him and I see James. I fail to see the difference at times. Harry is not James. He's not really Snivellus either now that I think about it. But he is yours and James loved you. I just feel selfish because we have you back and… not him."

He tensed as he suddenly felt her arms around him from behind. He relaxed as her head came to rest between his shoulder blades. He took her hands from his waist and entwined their fingers. He closed eyes just to be content with the moment. "I missed you, Lily."

"I missed you, too, Sirius."

"Don't leave this time, Lily. I don't… think I could stand that."

"I am not leaving anymore. I will be here for as long as I can."

"Do you love Snivellus?"

"Yes, more than he'll ever know."

"Do you love James?"

"Yes, just different from Severus."

She looked at his face and he seemed satisfied with her answer. She sighed and put her head on his back again. She did not notice the devilish grin cross his face.

"Do you love me?"

"Sirius, be serious!"

He laughed in her arms, spinning around so that he could see her face. He picked her up and twirled her around, making her giggle. He sat her down with her smiling at him. He leaned down; (she was much shorter than him). He looked into her emerald eyes, nuzzled her forehead and kissed it. "I love you, Griffin."

She bit her lip as tears flooded into her eyes. "Sirius Black, you are the biggest scoundrel I have ever met. You are sarcastic and moody and…" She smiled and blinked, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. "Oh I love you too, you big mutt." He folded her into his arms and they stayed like that for a long time.

Harry Potter thought that things could not get any weirder as he walked up the steps of his godfather's home. Remus smiled at him and the sunlight made the shadows on his face more pronounced. Tonks was carrying Hedwig in her cage, (the owl looking balefully up at her). 

Tonks smiled. "Ready, Harry?" She smiled even broader when, by his facial expression, he seemed to think that was an odd question. She heaved open the door with a grunt.

Upon entering, Harry realized he was in a massive hallway. The air smelled slightly musty. (The smell seemed to have been tried to be covered up by incense and scented candles). He stepped away from the group that was currently hanging cloaks and the like. He was studying a portrait of a rather long nosed man, who bared a slight resemblance to Sirius, when he saw something out of the corner of his eye heading in his direction.

"Harry!"

"Hermione…" He breathed as she tackled him around the waist. Her hair smelled like roses.

"Oh! Harry! I missed you! Have you been eating the food we've been sending you? You are looking awfully thin. Are you drinking enough? Maybe a good nourishment potion would…"

"I'm sorry, mate. She's been like this since she got here." Harry looked up to see Ron Weasley smiling at him.

"But Ron," Hermione started, looking at Harry's stomach as she lifted up his shirt a bit. "He really is much too thin…"

"Ninny, he's fine," said Ron when the other boy sent him a pleading look. Hermione did not seem convinced but she put down his shirt anyway and stepped aside as Harry and Ron hugged each other briefly. And then suddenly she became very still. "Ron…"

"What is it, Ninny?" She nodded her head forward.

Harry looked and saw a Sirius standing beside a beautiful woman in black robes. She had long, flowing red hair that was darker than the Weasley's. She wore quite a bit of jewelry, including what must have been a very expensive necklace around her throat. And her eyes were…

_Their mine…_

He swallowed past the queasy feeling in his throat and the fear that this could all just be another dream.

"Mum?"

So how's that? I should have the next chapter out soon and to the lawyers out there: I do not own Harry Potter.


	3. Chapter Three

Hello everyone! Here is the third chapter! Man, I am on a role, ain't I? To all my readers and reviewers, if you have any questions about the story feel free to mail me. That is after all what I am here for. And if there is nothing else I need to address, then here we go!

NO NAME:  I am so glad to hear that my email helped. And if this chapter is confusing, don't hesitate to mail!

chickensoup3:  Thank you so much! I hope this is soon enough!

Catsb:  I am so glad you like it! You really like the plot? I didn't seem to think it was any good. Thanks for reviewing!

PrphtssP:  I hope I can get the chapters out pretty fast. Thanks for reviewing!

Torny:  I was hoping for originality. Thank you!

Bekki:  I had to add some cute moments because sadly the story will get darker and more serious as it continues, (but there will always be room for cute moments). 

I want to offer a special thanks to brakeawaymagic for adding me to their favorite authors list. Thank you!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

**Jaded Eyes**

Chapter Three

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

~ King Whitney Jr.

"Harry, you have to understand…"

"Why have I been lied to for all these years?"

"Because I didn't tell anyone, so no one here knew to tell you."

"Why weren't you here?!" As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt a pang of regret, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know why his mother was alive all along and didn't come for him, why she didn't save him from the Dursleys, why she let him believe that he was a muggle. He looked up into his Lily's wide eyes and pale face and he swallowed past the fear in his throat.

"Because I was afraid…"

"Of what?"

Tears came to her eyes just before she lowered her head to whisper. "Of you… Of looking at you and knowing what James and I had done… It would have been easier with him there to be your father. But you would have asked me about James, about the man you looked like… How could I tell a little boy that his face was not his own? How could I have hidden what you were from him?" She looked up, the pain, the guilt and the shame evident on her tear streaked face. "How could I have looked at you and told you that I did not love James Potter…"

"Who is my real father?"

"You won't like my answer, Harry…"

"I don't care. I need to know."

"Your real father is…"

Harry swallowed and clenched his eyes shut.

"Severus Snape…"

He opened his eyes to stare at her. "You're kidding…"

She stared right back at him. "No, I'm not." She was shocked to death when he started laughing. "Harry…?"

He gazed at her smiling. "This is great!"

"WHAT?!"

"He sent me a letter a week home from break."

"Severus sent you… I'm not hearing this correctly… He never mentioned… I…" She turned to stare at her son. She vaguely noticed that he was starting to change. His hair was straightening at the roots and his face seemed thinner and darker around the eyes. She blinked her eyes and clenched at the pendent around her throat. "What was in letter?"

"He explained…" Harry shifted back and forth on his feet. He twitched and squirmed. "…things…"

Her eyes became slightly narrower. "What things?"

Harry glanced up at her. "He said that he… Well, let's just say I don't hate him anymore."

"How come?"

He took a deep breath, a blush spreading across his face and stared at his feet as he talked. "He told me about you and him… in Hogwarts. He said that he loved you and that he tried to adopt me after the attack and Dumbledore wouldn't let him. He said that I should have been his son and that he would adopt me now because Voldemort is losing faith in his loyalties. He said he would talk to Dumbledore about it."

He looked up again and saw his mother with tears rolling down her face. "Don't cry, Mum."

"Severus was going to… Oh Harry!" She rushed to him and hugged him tightly. She cried into his hair and held him as hard as she could. "Oh, he doesn't hate you."

"No, but he does think that I'm spoiled and stubborn and arrogant and-"

"He says those things because…"

"Because he thinks that I'm James's."

"I can't believe he would be willing to look past that and adopt… This is more than I hoped for."

"Will you tell him that I'm his?"

"Yes, as long as you're ok with this."

"Mum, I will be happy as long as you're happy. I… I love you."

"I love you too son, my precious wonderful son."

"Molly, you are doing what?"

Molly Weasley was starting to get agitated as she flicked her wand to put the bacon on and boil the tea water. She cast a glare in Sirius direction as she summoned over an iron skillet and was satisfied when it just barely missed the man's head. She took the pan and set it down (a little harder than necessary). She turned to look at Remus Lupin who was standing just a short (but safe) distance away. She smiled at him as she motioned to the bread sitting on the counter behind him. He smiled back at her as he handed over the plate it was on.

"I am inviting Severus to dinner tonight."

Sirius's face became disgusted. "Why _Snivellus_?"

"_Severus," she said fiercely. "…is coming because I thought it would be good for Lily to have him and Harry in the same room before she drops the news on him."_

"What about how Harry will feel about this?"

"It was for that reason that I wasn't going to invite him but then Dumbledore said that he wanted all the Order here tonight; so I can't uninvite him. There you have it Sirius Black. I have grown tired of your whining and constant yammering. You will behave tonight. If you don't, I will personally throw you out the door and at the mercy of the Ministry. You deserve the Dementor's Kiss if you do not do so much as to keep your mouth to keep yourself from hurting Lily. Now get out of my kitchen so I can fix your breakfast!"

"Technically, Molly it's my…"

Molly turned to look at Remus who promptly ushered his friend out of the basement kitchen.

Hi! I know it is short but I wanted to but the dinner on a separate chapter since it is going to be rather long. There will be lots of Lily and Severus and Severus and Harry in the next one. I hoped the whole letter thing didn't sound really out there but I think it does! I plan on writing a side story with the letter. Reviews are greatly appreciated and thank you for reading.


	4. Chapter Four

This story is quickly becoming my 'write it because its fun and not because it's perfect' story. I know I promised an extra long chapter but seeing as how I suffered a bit of writers block it didn't come out as planned. I hope you like this chapter.

**Jaded Eyes**

Chapter Four

_"For all their strength, men were sometimes like little children." ~ _Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1_999_

"Severus Snape is a big git."

"Sirius, you will behave."

"Ah, Moony, can't I have a bit o' fun?"

"Not at Lily's expense… Or Harry's…"

Sirius sat down on the bed (less than ceremoniously) and scowled at his feet. His damp hair hung unto his thin face. His broad shoulders were hunched slightly and he held his hands in his lap. However, his almond eyes had a bit of sparkle to them now, Remus noticed. For weeks this man had been hiding in his room, barely eating, barely sleeping. He had been a shell of himself for weeks when he had learned the truth about Harry. _Seeing Lily was good for him…It helped him cope with the shock of it…_

"Remus, have you ever wondered what went through James's mind when he made Harry drink…" A disgusted look crossed the man's face. "I wonder why Lils did this." He looked up into Remus's face. "I know what she told us. I know that she did it for Snape's protection but there is something she knows that we don't… She's not telling us something Moony and its… it hurts…"

Remus sighed. "You know Griffin. Every time she does something it is to protect someone. She is protecting Harry by being here. She does things for others benefit. Lily has always been like that. That was why James loved her. That was why we all loved her."

"Apparently _Wormtail_ didn't love her. If he did he wouldn't have betrayed her." He spat getting up and pulling out a frame from beneath the mattress. He shoved it into Remus's hands and then started pacing the floors in anger.

The werewolf sighed again as he gazed down at the picture. It was a muggle photograph. In the center was Lily being held from behind by James and off to the side was Peter holding her hand. On the other side was Sirius with an arm around Remus and the other was linked with the redhead's. They each wore Hogwarts robes and Gryffindor scarves. Their faces were rosy cheeked from the cold and snow was falling around them.

Remus smiled and lightly traced his finger over James's smiling face, forever frozen. "This was seventh year. We were inseparable then, Sirius, remember? I miss James and well, God help me, at times, I miss Peter… how he used to be… before he became a traitor… back when we were all innocent…" Tears flooded into his eyes as he looked up into his friend's pained face. "Do you remember the time that Peter blew up the cauldron on the last day of classes. Professor Farlorn was so mad and then on graduation when we sent of the dungbomb that was enchanted to say… 'Long live the Marauders!'." A tear rolled down his cheek. "We didn't live long, did we?"

Sirius sighed. "Let's go, Moony."

"Padfoot?"

"Yea?"

"Behave."

Sirius chuckled as he left the room, the tense atmosphere behind him.

Albus Dumbledore looked calmly about the room, eyes lighting upon each face for a moment. His eyes lingered on the form of Harry Potter that was talking with Hermione Granger, (who was waving her hands about animatedly) and Ron Weasley who just smiled and said nothing. He stared at the little group focusing his eyes on Harry, who seemed no matter how happy to see his friends, was slightly subdued.

He turned when he felt a prickling on the back of his neck. Lily smiled at him sweetly as she walked over to him. She innocently linked her arm in his. He older man smiled a tired reminiscing smile and looked into her face that was currently fixated on her son. "You look better today. Last night must have been hard on you."

"Actually, I don't know which one was worse, seeing Harry or seeing Severus, and tonight it is going to get even harder." She turned to look in kind blue eyes. "How can I tell Severus that the boy he has hated for years is his? How can I tell him that I lied? Harry told me that he was going to adopt him, treat him as his own, but I don't understand. He blamed my 'death' on Harry and how could he look past that to want to adopt him. Albus… it doesn't see real."

"That was why we kept your letters from him. We were afraid to change his mind about adopting him. After all, if he knew you were alive it would remind him too much that Harry is James's son." He looked back to the boy who was laughing at something Ron had said about Hermione as she glared him. "Was it difficult to make Harry drink James's blood? Isn't there complications such as vampirism?"

"Yes, I am thankful that Harry is normal, especially after everything was so rough. I hope you can understand, Professor, that the Dark Arts that was performed on Harry was necessary. It makes it easier for me to keep believing that." She sighed. "I hope Severus can understand why I did it."

"You still love him, don't you, child?"

"I never stopped, Professor."

He looked over to the fireplace as it burst with Slytherin green flames. Suddenly, a man stumbled through it. He was hunched over, a hand holding over his left arm. His deathly pale skin was sweaty and glossy. Black matted hair fell around a thin aging face as it hissed sharply with the pain. The room became quiet as he stumbled around, gasping and swearing with the pain.

"Severus!" Lily yelled rushing over, quickly taking him in her arms. She slowly guided him into a chair, and then leaned down to stare into his stricken face. She brought her hand up to brush the hair away from his eyes. "Where does it hurt, love?"

"…mark…" He muttered feebly.

"Oh dear, Molly, do you have any pain numbing potion and a large bandage?"

Upon hearing this, the Weasley matriarch rushed over to a chest of drawers in the corner and retrieving them. Upon turning back to the younger, she saw that she was very gingerly moving his robes up his arm, slowly revealing the Dark Mark. Most people in the room turned away to keep from looking at it but Harry stared at it transfixed. He watched as she soaked the cloth with violet potion before gently applying that to the oozing scar. Lupin walked over to hand his mother some medical tape. She smiled at him gratefully before turning back to his father.

In seconds you could see the relief on Snape's face. He looked up into emerald eyes and smiled a small smile meant only for her. She reached down to embrace him just when he spotted Harry and pushed her away from him. He scowled angrily at the table. Lily stared at him for a while and then sat down beside him in a huff.

 Harry studied his father's face as Ron leaned over to Hermione behind him. "She just tried to hug Snape." The bushy haired girl looked up at her friend incredulously. "There is nothing wrong with that, Ron." The boy looked back to her with wide eyes. "It's _Snape_!" Harry shook his head and promptly walked over to his parents. He glared at the angry man on the other side of Lily and than promptly sat down beside his mother.

Sirius walked over and sat down beside Snape and across from Lily. Remus followed soon after and sat down beside his friend, violently whispering that now was not the time. Apparently, he did not seem to care.

"I don't get you, _Snivellus_. What is so _wrong_ with showing your _affection for Lily if you can't do it in front of her son or his friends? Are you _ashamed_ of her? Are you ashamed of loving a _Muggle-born_? Or do you really hate Harry?"_

Snape stood up and loomed down on the Animagus. "Black, this has nothing to do with Lily and everything to do with her idiotic son!"

"So you do hate Harry!" Sirius screamed. Remus looked to Lily and saw her gaping at the two dark haired men just as Harry stood up in his seat.

"If you hate me so much, why were you going to _adopt me?"_

A look of pure unaltered hatred crossed the convict's face. _"You were going to do what, Snivellus?"_

"I was going to adopt the _bastard, Black."_

Remus stood up this time, taking the last straw. "That is enough!"

Snape snarled. "You can't tell me what to do, you filthy beast!"

"You're the beast!" Harry yelled pointing his wand between his father's eyes.

"Why, you insolent little-"

"SHUT UP!" Lily glared forcefully into each man's face. She was trembling with tears in her gemstone eyes. "SIT DOWN!" With dumbfounded expressions, they silently complied. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! THIS IS A DIFFICULT TIME FOR ME AND YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT ANY EASIER!" She took a deep breath calming down. "Sirius, I know you feel the need to protect Harry and I love you for it. But you really need to listen to Remus sometimes as he knows what is best for you! Harry, as you are an underage wizard you are not to have your wand with you at all unless you are in danger and you are not as long as you are in this house! And _you_-" She turned to Snape, eyes flashing. "If you care at all for me, you will understand that Harry is my son and I love him. So quit acting like a bloody prat! You will sit here and get along with Sirius and Remus and Harry because I care about them. And you better bloody well like it!"

"Mum?" She looked up, angry tears streaming down her flushed face. She gave him small smile. "Harry, go help Molly set the table."

When he left she turned back to the three men. "Please try to get along. Harry does not need to get upset. It'll make him feel worse to see us fighting. So please…" She turned to look in onyx eyes. "Please Severus…"

"Fine."

To all my readers including the ones from Going Under, I am becoming swamped. I have started a new fic when really I should finish my others and that is still going to be done. My next fic is way more serious and depressing and I personally like it best so I may write on it more. I will write on whatever gives me the urge at the time. Thanks and please review. ~ Trinity 101


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